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Windows vs. Linux: An Unbiased Review

Filed under
Linux
Microsoft
Humor

After hearing all of the hype about Linux, I decided to give it a try. That was my first mistake. I soon realized that Linux has more flavors than you can shake a stick at.

I asked a computer savvy friend which was best, and he chuckled and said "Try OpenBSD." He told me that "OpenBSD is the most secure operating system that civilians can legally use," so I decided to install it and see how it compared with Windows.

ACQUISITION:

To get OpenBSD, I had to go to their website and choose between so many disks. I eventually settled on the 3.6 ISO and burned it to a CD. The whole time I felt like a dirty criminal.

Windows, on the other hand, was much less painful, as there were only two versions to choose from: Windows XP Home Cheapskate Edition and Windows XP Professional Enhanced Deluxe Plus! Edition. I chose smartly and took the Professional Edition, paying the cashier only $400 for it. The process was simple and I left the store feeling like an upstanding citizen.

Winner: Windows

INSTALLATION:

I'll start with Windows. To put Windows on your computer is relatively straightforward: You hit ENTER a few times to agree to wipe out your existing data and sell your soul. Then you enter your serial number, make a typo, and have to try again about 5-6 times. Later, the install will suddenly crash without explanation and you repeat the process. Overall, it takes only about 3 hours.

If Windows had a title screen before the install, it would be much like OpenBSD 3.6: Welcome to Hell on Earth. The installation lures you into thinking all is going well until it hits you with OpenBSD's most reliable security method: the Dumb Sysadmin Prevention System. In short, OpenBSD's install is so hard that you need to be genius to complete it, thus eliminating the cause of the majority of security issues -- dumb sysadmins. I must say it works rather well.

The OpenBSD install seems simple at first. But after blindly hitting ENTER a few dozen times, you reach fdisk. What is fdisk, you ask? At first glance, it looks a tool that allows you to preserve some of your hard drive's data, while making it possible to have multiple operating systems co-exist peacefully.

Hardly. The ugly truth is that fdisk is a hell-spawned minion that will ravage your brain, cause general mayhem, and make you want to replace the word "fuck" with "fdisk" as the F-word of choice in your cursing vocabulary.

Once through the complete hell of fdisk, you think the madness is over. Not so fast. Next comes the devil himself known as disklabel...

Full Article.

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