World without Linux

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DATELINE: WindowsWorld 2008: Microsoft CEO and President, Steve Ballmer was happy as a clam today at his WindowsWorld keynote in San Francisco's Gates Center. "Nothing can make me happier to tell you that, Larry Page CEO of Google," a niche AOL search engine, "has agreed to run their search engine on Windows Server 2004."

Ballmer continued, "It can only be good that even Google's customers finally have access to a real server. Unix had its place, but, come on, that old command-line driven thing? Unix hasn't been businesses' operating system of choice since NT was introduced."

Ballmer also announced that Windows Longhorn for Personal Computers would be released, after nine years of development, "sometime in 2011 for a list price of $799." This made the fourth time in the 21st century that Ballmer had announced that Longhorn would be release soon. In the meantime, users will have to make the best of Windows 98 XP.

At this point in his keynote speech, there was a disturbance in the front as a group of demonstrators started shouting "GNU-HURD! GNU-HURD! GNU-HURD!" The police quickly hustled them away.

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