And Now A Word From Somebody Else's Lawyer
From Mr. N. O. Humor, Attorney at Law, Kil and Profit Law Firm, registered in some random, obscure, easily-bribed country:
Dear Mr. Morals,
I'm writing on behalf of the Kil and Profit LLUEC (Limited Liability, Unlimited Evil Corporation) and its customers, including, but not limited to, RPI (Ridiculous Patents, Inc.)(tm), Microsoft®, the® SCO® group®, and George® W.® Bush®. Our research department has found your "And Now A Word From Our Lawyers" article, and handed it to me for further handling.
I found it to be in violation of several of the patents and trademarks of our customers:
1. Having written a legal statement of more than 3 paragraphs, you are in violation of international patent FBRPO (Fictional But Realistic Patent Office (tm)) #12345678, "Excessively long legal statements", which is available for licensing at only $50 per character beyond the 3rd paragraph if licensed in advance; and only $50 million per character if we caught you using our patent without advance licensing.