Language Selection

English French German Italian Portuguese Spanish

Larry Ellison becomes Chief Monk Officer

Filed under
Misc

Larry Ellison on Thursday came to the startling yet enlightening realization that he is not god. As a result, Oracle's CEO has gone totally monastic.

Ellison's breakthrough occurred following a recent brain-glazing procedure. The billionaire software maker felt a slight, post-op twinge and then saw god before him. The god figure's absence of a beard or a Bill Gates complex convinced Ellison he was not looking at himself.

Frame of reference altered in a major way, Ellison now plans to become the world's best monk.

"Larry comes to us once or twice a year to make sure that his brain is in top condition," said Beverley Hills-based plastic surgeon Herm Deftouche. "We remove a large chunk of his skull and coat his brain with a proprietary mixture called Grey Batter. Like many of our clients, Larry thinks a well-polished, aristocratic brain gives him an edge over rivals. And, in actual fact, a shimmering brain is beyond spectacular."

Full Story.

More in Tux Machines

Ubuntu Touch OTA-4 Update to Let Users Import SIM Contacts

A fresh OTA update is being prepared for Ubuntu Touch, and it should land soon. Developers have released some of the most important improvements that will be implemented in the upcoming release. Read more

Fedora Tools

  • Future Plans For Changing Fedora's Installer
    Over the last couple weeks there has been an "Anaconda Wishlist" thread occurring on Fedora's desktop mailing list. The thread, and the associated Workstation Working Group meeting, are directed at the future of the Fedora Anaconda Installer.
  • Tweak Your Fedora 22 Desktop Using Fedy And PostinstallerF
    None of the Linux distributions comes with all essential applications for daily usage, Agree? You have to install additional Repositories, softwares like Chrome, Flash player, Java or something in order to get a perfect distro for the daily usage. We can do it in two methods. First, you can manually search and install all the required softwares one by one, and the second one is you can use a tool that will help you to find and install all essential applications from one place. Which method would you prefer? I prefer the second method most, not because it is easy, but also it saves some time.
  • 27 ‘DNF’ (Fork of Yum) Commands for RPM Package Management in Linux

Red Hat CEO: Public cloud "obscenely expensive at scale"

Whitehurst believes Amazon Web Services (AWS) makes sense for test and dev, but it can't compete with private cloud at scale. Do you agree? Read more Also:

Intel Gets 'Clear' About Linux and Containers

Imad Sousou, VP in Intel's Software and Services Group and GM of the Intel Open Source Technology Center, discusses the Clear Linux and Clear container efforts. Read more